What’s Luck Got To Do With It?

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The consensus after another breathtaking instalment of Euro 2008 last night was that Turkey were incredibly unlucky not to beat Germany and reach their first ever major tournament final. The facts are that Turkey outplayed Germany and should have won the match, but that they didn’t had very little to do with luck.

The conclusion of luck being the decisive factor is arrived at either by romantics who felt cheated by the denial of an exciting upset, or red faced pundits who so confidently predicted an easy German win, despite all evidence saying that the tournament is highly competitive and tough to predict. The latter were very much in evidence on the BBC, with messrs Hansen, Shearer and O’Neill learning nothing from their experience with Holland on saturday, and all making no case for even a competitive Turkish display let alone a result.

If, when reflecting this morning on how they let their chance slip despite wiping the floor with Germany for almost the entire match, Turkey also feel they were dealt a poor hand, I would ask them two things: Firstly, how unlucky was it that your goalkeeper got himself suspended for deliberately pushing someone over infront of the referee, and that the best you could do for a replacement was an ageing clown? Secondly, how unlucky was it that despite dominating possession and continually exposing the German defence as being average at best, you failed to nail your chances? As managers have been keen to remind us in many a post-match interview down the years, you make your own luck in this game.

Turkey should have ended the night celebrating a magnificent overturning of the odds, and a spectacular tactical victory. Fatih Terim produced another coaching masterstroke, with a gameplan of all-out attack that stunned the Germans and everyone else. Germany would surely have gone into the game fairly confident of spending most of the game in the ascendancy, thinking that their biggest problem would be getting past a Turkish back nine. This, after all, was how Turkey approached the quarter-final against Croatia, and they went into last night’s game with their side further damaged by injury and suspension.

The Turks’ radical change of tactics took the Germans completely by surprise, and allowed them to dictate throughout. They went for it pretty much straight from the kick-off, and the totally unprepared German defence looked a shambles in trying to deal with it. Turkey initially looked to have benefitted from one of their injuries, as Colin Kazim-Richards (or Kazim Kazim as he’s known to the Turks), in for the injured Nihat, caused Germany huge problems early in the game with his pace, though as the game wore on he ran out of gas. After a succession of near things however, it was Kazim’s shot that hit the bar and bounced out to Ugur Boral who snaffled the first goal.

In truth, the Turks should have been infront before then, and they were made to pay almost immediately; the lead they had worked so hard for was wiped out in the space of four minutes as lazy defending allowed Podolski to cross from the left, and Schweinsteiger to nip infront at the near post. A 1-1 half-time score was an unbelievable result for the Germans who desperately needed the break to try and formulate plan B, but whatever they came up with didn’t work as they were soon pinned back again.

The second half was quite different to the first, but still dominated by the Turks. In the first period they had whizzed around the Germans like eleven red blurrs, hurrying and scurrying and creating panic in the German rearguard with their urgency. They had relied on this defensive chaos for their chances however, rather than putting together moves that flowed cohesively. In the second half the Turks slowed things down a little, but this time gave the Germans a lesson in passing, movement and technique, knocking the ball around with complete assurance and starving the Germans of possession. They were forcing the Germans further back, but this time, ironically, failed to apply the urgency needed to create chances.

It appeared as though the pressure would eventually tell on the Germans, their play had descended into aimless clearances that suggested desperation and, incredibly for a German side, they were beginning to look beaten. Turkey however, were a team trying to cover up a massive weak spot, and 11 minutes from time, it was exposed. Philipp Lahm put in a fairly harmless cross, and the embodiment of the phrase ‘dodgy keeper’, Rüstü Reçber, duly obliged. The veteran idiot dashed out hopelessly after the cross, was beaten to it easily by Klose, and Turkey’s hard work appeared to have been undone in a moment’s madness.

Against anyone else Germany may have thought that the goal had come late enough to be the winner, but it would have actually been more of a surprise if Turkey hadn’t scored in the remaining time. They duly equalised with four minutes to go, and this time it was the Germans’ unreliable goalkeeper who came up trumps, Lehmann finding a dreadful position at his near post that allowed Semih Sentürk to pop up with his third vital goal of the championships, after the magnificent Turkish full back Sabri Sarioglu had embarassed Lahm for the umpteenth time down the right hand side.

If anything though, Turkey scored too early this time. I think they must have been confused when the final whistle didn’t go immediately after they’d scored, and I’m not sure they knew what to do with themselves for the remaining four minutes plus injury time. Unfortunately, whilst they were thinking about it, the Germans came in and gave them a taste of their own medicine. In the fashion we’d become accustomed to from the Turks the Germans replied “think that’s a dramatic late goal? Huh! This is a dramatic late goal!”.

Said goal came from that man Lahm, who had been a strong candidate for being the worst player on the field with an absolutely wretched defensive performace. Like all good modern full-backs though, he looks much better in attack, and went on a charge which resulted in him starting and finishing a beautiful little interchange, transforming him from villain to hero in an instant. The Turks quickly learned how Croatia felt about Rüstü at the end of the quarter-final.

The Jekyll and Hyde Germans had been unrecognisable from the victory over Portugal, and no German more so than Michael Ballack. Where was he? With the Turks running rings around the German midfield, this man who had given a herculean display against Portugal was nowhere to be seen. Germany were missing everthing that Ballack provides, leadership, physical presence, a calm foot on the ball in midfield. There just appeared to be a huge Ballack-shaped hole in the German team. How could his form turn around so quickly? The question could easily be asked of both teams, such was the sea change in their performances from their previous outings.

It was an especially interesting night for our beloved broadcasters, and not just due to the punditry team taking yet another disastrous stroll through the minefield of prediction – though there was one notable member of that team who negotiated himself across safely, the wonderful Marcel Desailly, who has easily become the leading punditry craftsman of the tournament. Desailly identified before the game exactly how Turkey could hurt the Germans, and his colleagues should hang their heads in shame for dismissing the Frenchman’s view until it turned out that he’d been right all along.

Upstaging all that however was a freak thunderstorm in Vienna, where the BBC studio was situated and where the worldwide TV feed was powered from. The storm meant a significant part of the coverage was interrupted. The BBC apologised profusely for this, clearly expecting an enormous backlash. But why? The loss of coverage meant not only a lack of picture but also sound. That’s right! John Motson and Mark Lawrenson were silenced! I would personally like to wholeheartedly thank the BBC, or whichever Austrian was responsible, for these precious moments of respite.

Not only this, but the BBC quickly moved to get the commentary from Five Live to accompany the broken pictures. Now, us cool kids had of course switched to the Five Live coverage immediately on hearing Motson’s voice in the pre-match build-up, via the red button. For everyone else though, can you imagine the delight? Suddenly all the inane drivel is replaced by actual analysis, sharp observations, humourous asides that are actually funny, and – gasp! – commonsense! I wonder how many people who had previously been listening to Motty and Lawro went straight for their red button or nearest radio as soon as normal service was resumed. Chris Waddle by the way, is a first-rate summariser who should be moved several places up the beeb’s pecking order.

This match was also another success for Basle, which once again proved itself to be the stage on which to see drama. Basle has now given us Switzerland v Turkey, Germany v Portugal, Holland v Russia, and now this. Vienna on the other hand has given us three matches involving Austria, plus Croatia v Turkey, and Spain v Italy. Is it too late to launch a campaign to get the final moved?

Perhaps Basle has just been lucky? Or maybe the conditions there are more condusive to an exciting game? Maybe the BBC viewers struck lucky getting Motson switched off? Or were they just denying themselves some decent commentary in the first place? Are the Germans lucky to be in the final? Or do they just have the spirit to hang in there even when they’re having a shocker? And did Turkey endure bad luck? Or did they just pay for having inadequate players at the sharp ends of the pitch? Depends what you have invested in the answers I guess.

Turkey have left this tournament with many of it’s greatest memories. Long after someone has finished waving the trophy around on sunday, we will remember the dramatic moments that Turkey’s unpredictable tactics and incredible fighting spirit have produced. For the fact that they won’t be adding to the legacy on sunday however, they only have themselves to blame.

Old Habits Die Hard

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Hmm, Lord Mayor’s show and all that. The last quarter-final of Euro 2008 put in a rather fierce challenge for the dubious accolade of being the tournament’s low point, and whilst the significance of the match probably kept its status as a spectacle slightly above that of France v Romania, that is the only hint of polish anyone could possibly offer this turd.

Spain and Italy played out an insomnia-curing 120 minutes that looked destined for penalties from a very early stage. As is the usual form when two sides of such magnitude play out a direfest, the commentators will try and convince us that the game is ‘tactical’, ‘technical’, or that the teams are ‘cancelling each other out’. Strangely, ‘shite’ never seems to be a term they’re keen to apply no matter how bad things get, and this was very, very bad. That, by the way, is all it was. The poor quality of the match was not down in any way to the two teams tactics, it was down to the fact that they were rubbish. They couldn’t pass it, they couldn’t cross it, they barely moved, and they couldn’t shoot.

The latter criticism applies in particular to the Spaniards, whose entire game plan appeared to consist of making their way at a snails pace to an area 25 yards from the Italian goal, before unleashing the most harmless of efforts on goal that generally failed by numerous yards to find the target. All this would have seemed speculative under normal circumstances, but considering the world’s finest goalkeeper was between the sticks, it just appeared lazy and careless. The Italians however, weren’t even this good, as any or all of the above would have been an improvement on the virtual zero they offered in threat to Iker Casillas at the other end.

The first half was probably honours even for both incompetence and negativity, both sides barely breaking into a jog, playing safety-first possession football which offered no threat whatsoever of penetrating either defence. Moves came to an end with either a tame and inaccurate shot , as described above, or with an equally hopeless cross or final pass.

After half-time, a divide did occur between the two sides; both were still awful, but Spain were at least poor in a good cause, at least making the effort to come forward, where as Italy just seemed to pack it in altogether. The game sank to unpalatable depths, one side not interested in playing, the other not good enough to punish them for it. I’m not sure whose reputation comes off worse in this situation, the Italians for making no attempt to look any good, or the Spaniards failing to do so despite trying quite hard.

For the Italians it was a return to the bad old days. In the last few years, and especially in the World Cup two years ago, their play had begun to make the common criticism of them being overly defensive sound like a tired old cliche. From the second half onwards however, it looked relevant again, as Luca Toni became totally isolated up front, and virtually had to come back to his own half of the field to have any chance of seeing the ball. Extra-time also came and went without any Italian advance that registered in the memory. Whether the side lacked the courage to try and dominate the midfield without the suspended Pirlo and Gattuso I’m not sure, but this is hardly an adequate excuse for such negativity.

Spain looked better after rejigging their midfield on the hour mark, taking off the ineffectual Barcelona pair Xavi and Iniesta, and bringing on Cesc Fabregas. A no-brainer to everyone else, it’s logic which still escapes the Spaniards’ nasty old fool of a manager, Luis Aragones. The performance of the two first choices must be especially worrying for Spain when considering that their opponents were much weakened in the same area. Fabregas improved the quality of Spain’s passing immediately, and added to it some much needed urgency, though it was still not good enough to break down the dour Italians and create any clearcut chances for David Villa and Fernando Torres.

Extra-time plodded on towards its inevitable conclusion with neither side prepared to show even a smidgen of the courage that Russia had in dominating their extra half-hour the night before. This is perhaps especially surprising when one considers the horrors that both sides have suffered in shoot-outs of the past. This extra period was a far cry from the one Italy played in the World Cup semi-final against the Germans two years ago, when they ended with four strikers on the pitch, so desperate were they to avoid the spot-kicks. On that occasion their positive attitude paid off and led to them winning the World Cup, but on sunday they appeared to have learned nothing from that experience.

The neutral observer was surely favouring Spain in the shoot-out, which convinced me that Italy would probably win it, as the team that deserves to win the match often seems to lose if it goes to penalties, as happened on friday with the Croatians. Spain’s nerves were allowed to settle early in the shoot-out however, as they took a successful first kick and the Italians followed it with a failure. Spain could even afford to miss their fourth penalty and come through, and fittingly it was Fabregas, the only player who really showed any quality on the night, that converted the decisive penalty.

Overall the quarter-finals produced quite a stark contrast, the big winners being the spectators in Basle, and ITV, whose two matches were both thrillers. The two matches in Vienna on the other hand, both covered on the BBC, were complete stinkers saved only by two minutes of drama at the end of Croatia and Turkey’s extra-time, and two penalty shoot-outs. By this standard, the first semi-final in Basle tonight between Germany and Turkey should be the one to see, whilst tomorrow’s match in Vienna between Spain and Russia will be the non-event, though the received wisdom would surely say that the opposite is the more likely outcome.

I am saying nothing, trying to predict what will happen in this tournament is clearly for fools, though you if you are prepared to dabble in groundless guesswork, you should have no problem in securing employment with one of our fine broadcasting networks. A Turkish side ravaged by injuries and suspensions against a now mighty-looking German team that go in as hot favourites. Only one result right? The only thing I’m certain of is that if the Germans are one goal ahead with a minute left, I don’t think too many in the crowd will be nipping off to miss the traffic.

Make Way For The Dutch Grand Master

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Euro 2008 just doesn’t know when to stop does it? It continues to raise the bar of excitement still higher; just when you think you’ve seen everything this amazing tournament just keeps delivering more. Surely though, surely we saw the tournament reach its peak on saturday with as thrilling a game of football as has been seen in this or any other championship? Surely this one can’t be beaten?? Seriously, if we really are destined to see a more dramatic match than the one between Russia and Holland, I cannot understand why the world is not as one clearing its diaries for the remaining four instalments of this incredible competition.

Now, having been heavily critical of Holland whilst everyone else has been unable to do anything but dollop great spoonfuls of golden-syrupy sweeteness all over them, it would be easy for me to be smug at what was a quite comprehensive and embarrassing defeat. All I can promise is that I will try my level best to be objective, but I can’t help but think that every single Dutch bandwagon-jumper must have a sickly taste in their mouth after this.

In truth, the kind of defeat I had predicted for Holland, one that involved sulking, cheating and general nastiness, never happened. The Dutch took their defeat fairly gracefully, and quite rightly so as they were thoroughly outplayed in every department of the game by a better team. More painful still, they were completely outfoxed tactically by the competition’s finest Dutchman, Guus Hiddink. Why the Dutch F.A haven’t spent the last 10 years begging this man to come home and bring the success to the national team that his genius would surely guarantee, only they can know.

The BBC punditry team, when giving their predictions on Football Focus, went 7-0 in favour of Holland. Only simpleton Mark Lawrenson hadn’t been asked for his view previously and, having watched the film of all his colleagues going for Holland, decided to go for Russia just to be different. It’s about time Lawro got something right, even if it was by accident, so I’ll grant him his moment of glory.

The beeb’s predictions, like everyone elses, were totally blind to the football that had been played previously, where Holland had had more than their fair share of luck against Italy, then beat a dreadful French side largely thanks to the impact play of Arjen Robben in the second half. Russia had given by far the best complete footballing display of either side in the group stages when dismantling Sweden in their final match, so their danger should have been more widely acknowledged.

Over on ITV, where the match was actually covered, things were no better. The build-up to the game was almost entirely Oranje-related, and the boys couldn’t say enough about how much they were looking forward to another exhibition of attacking beauty. The boys got their wish, but the beauty came exclusively from the team in white, who so consummately disassembled the Dutchmen that on the night Holland could be thankful the score against them didn’t comprise two figures, and were unbelievably fortunate in taking the game to extra-time.

Some of the commentary heard from Peter Drury as the game evolved and it became abundantly clear that ITV weren’t going to get the opportunity to worship the Dutch display as they clearly desired, but worse still assumed all the viewers did too, was quite disgustingly patronising. During extra-time he openly admitted to loving the Dutch, but discussed with summariser Jim Beglin that he was being swayed by the Russians such was the quality of their football. Translation: “Christ Beglin, we’ve backed the wrong one here bigtime, how can we get out of this without looking thoroughly stupid?”. My advice Peter, would be to turn up just to commentate on what actually takes place and not let your hype-induced favour for one of the two teams allow you to make such misjudged predictions.

The Russian display was exhilharating. Whilst the Dutch did their usual and sat waiting for the opposition to make the first move, Russia snapped up the initiative and pinned Holland back from the off. For the first time a Dutch defence that always looked weak on paper received a real test, and they crumbled. The Russians walked through the Dutch back line time after time with high-speed precision passing and movement that was made to look simple and effortless. Holland were forced to play so deep that they were completely unable to respond with any periods of pressure, their only threat coming from set pieces where the Russian defence showed its own fallibility.

The one thing that does elude this Russian team though is clinical finishing and, just as they had against Sweden, they wasted so many opportunities that it undermined their dominance and allowed their opponents to stay in the game. It took Russia until the 56th minute to take the lead, when Roman Pavlyuchenko turned in Sergei Semak’s cross. Pavlyuchenko seems to be your classic frustrating striker; very reliable in terms of getting on the end of chances, but the exact opposite when it comes to actually putting them away. He certainly infuriates Hiddink, who insisted that his man-of-the-match award against Greece had been unmerited due to being so wasteful infront of goal.

Russia seem to make so many chances however, that Pavlyuchenko seems to be able to miss plenty and still end up on the scoresheet in most games. It was not just the striker who was guilty on saturday however, and Russia’s failure to make the scoreline reflect the beating they had given the Dutch threatened to cost them dear.

Many inexperienced teams would have tried to put up the shutters on going one up in such a huge game, but this Russian team doesn’t appear to know the meaning of negativity. Or maybe they’re just aware that their defending isn’t quite in the same league as their attacking play and so sensibly try and keep the ball as far away from the danger end for as long as possible, a lesson a few other teams would do well to learn. However, as the semi-final prize edged nearer, some panic inevitably set in and in the last 15 minutes Russia began to clear their lines with more desperation, and for the first time in the match conceded some ground and possession to the Dutch. It’s worth pointing out that the Russians still looked the more likely to score when breaking, and that the only way Holland looked like scoring was still from a set piece.

Any neutrals watching, which clearly didn’t include our broadcasters, can only have been willing the Russians to either hang on or grab another to seal it, such would have been the injustice of a Dutch equaliser. I hardly need to tell you what happened next do I? Yep, Holland equalised from a set piece. Three minutes from time, free kick on the left, Sneijder curled in a beauty, and the statuesque defenders watched Van Nistelrooy score from his average distance of about two yards. Neutral hearts sank.

Failing to see it through having come so close must have hurt a young, inexperienced team like Russia, which only makes what happened in extra-time even more astonishing. With everyone waiting for Holland to grow in confidence after their escape, and finish off a mentally shattered side, Russia took up where they had left off, and then some. Extra-time can often be cagey, as both teams become nervous about conceding with so little time to respond, but on this occasion it was complete one-way traffic, as the Russians proved themselves to be not only technically and physically superior, but also resilient and courageous. Russia, with no fear whatsoever, attacked Holland throughout extra-time, missed yet more chances, but finally, finally sealed the semi-final place they deserved with two more goals in the second period.

Russia’s on-field driving force throughout had once again been Andrei Arshavin, who gave the sponsors their easiest man-of-the-match decision of the tournament with a virtuoso display that was comfortably the finest individual performance seen at these championships. In two matches he has changed this Russian team from potential also-rans into potential champions, not only with his own play, but with the additional confidence his presence appears to inject into his team-mates. He’s probably also added about £10 million to his transfer value, something we are almost certain to discover when Russia’s adventure comes to an end.

It’s difficult to know whether Arshavin is a midfield playmaker, winger, or striker, as at present he seems to be doing all three. If his future managers have any sense they will take their lead from Mr Hiddink and let him do whatever he wants. The free role he enjoyed allowed him to provide the crucial second Russian goal from the left hand side, and score the third from the right. The cross he provided for the second was quite unbelievable, lifting it over defender and goalkeeper from an impossibly tight position to drop just inside the far post requiring only a tap in, which it received from substitute Dmitri Torbinski.

Of course many managers could do a lot worse than take a few lessons from Guus Hiddink, who has now added to an already staggering record with another unlikely success. Hiddink said afterwards that to outplay a team like Holland tactically, technically and physically was testament to the quality of his players. That was modesty talking of course; the victory was an enormous tribute to Hiddink’s own, currently unmatched, skills as a coach. Before he took over Russia were a bunch of water-treading underachievers who wouldn’t have qualified, two years on they sit two matches away from becoming European Champions, with very few brave enough to write off their chances.

Hiddink does have one new obstacle to overcome however, and that is the semi-final. He has been thwarted at this stage with his native country and with South Korea in the World Cups of 1998 and 2002 respectively. Surely no one would now put it past him to make it third time lucky, and cement his place amongst the managerial legends.

Follow Your Leader

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International football proved itself yet again to know no boundaries when it comes to cruelty, as Croatia were sent packing from Euro 2008 by Turkey in the most astonishing circumstances. If football was run on a basis of commonsense like most other sports, and timed matches offically rather than leaving it up to one individual’s watch, Turkey would now be on their way home. Instead they scored the latest goal ever in the history of the European Championships, 121 minutes and 4 seconds into the match, which was 4 seconds after their time should have been up.

Croatia themselves had broken the deadlock less than two minutes earlier, but couldn’t wait to indulge in wildly joyous celebrations, and failed spectacularly to observe Brian Clough’s old maxim that ‘It only takes a second to score a goal’. The brunt of the blame for this must be taken by the man who led them so magnificently to this stage, their coach Slaven Bilic. In a previous post I had commented that Bilic had given the impression of being the strongest leader amongst all the competitors coaches, but I was proved wrong as Bilic allowed himself to be swept away by euphoria when his side scored in the 119th minute, joining a pile of rejoycing bodies instead of calming and organising his players to see the job through. At that moment Croatia required leadership, but for once it was not forthcoming.

Croatia’s failure to spend 90 seconds nailing a victory which they had deserved exposed a lack of experience at this level both on the pitch and the bench. They also missed clearcut chances to win the game in normal time, and failed to heed the warning of Turkey’s previous match-winning late finishes, so any claims of bad luck on the Croatians’ part would be misjudged.

Bilic and his side were punished in the harshest way possible, as their nerve disintegrated in the penalty shoot-out where they were barely able to hit the target. The scenes afterwards told you everything about the expectation that they had carried into the game; crestfallen Croats littered the field, many in tears, others rendered numb by the sudden and untimely death their campaign had suffered. For Croatia this wasn’t meant to happen, mentally it seemed as though they were already in the semi-final against Germany and that was almost certainly their fatal mistake. Defeat at this stage, after winning three group games easily and convincing themselves and everyone else that they were genuine contenders for the title, was something they were utterly unprepared for and it showed on the faces of their shattered players and supporters.

The Turks showed once and for all, if there could have been any remaining doubt, that they don’t know the meaning of giving in; and yet unlike in their previous unlikely recoveries against Switzerland and the Czechs, this time they were genuinely beaten. None of the Turkish players could honestly say that on going behind they immediately steeled themselves for a 90-second attempt at retrieving the situation. What they did was win a free-kick in their own half, launch it hopefully into the area, and get lucky on two counts as the loose ball dropped at the feet of Semih Sentürk, and his shot took a deflection and flew into the top corner.

The drama in this encounter was almost entirely reserved for the final two minutes of extra-time and the resulting penalties. The 118 minutes that had gone before Croatia opened the scoring had been largely forgettable, Turkey basically setting out to run their legs off in an attempt to keep Croatia’s time and space to a minimum, which was negative but sensible, given that Croatia would have destroyed them had they been allowed this, and the Turks knew it. The Turks had to work so hard to prevent Croatia from playing that they had very little resources left for attacking themselves.

Turkey shouldn’t have got away with it, as even though chances were few and far between for Croatia, when they did arrive they were gift-wrapped, and Ivica Olic will be seeing the open goal he missed from 4 yards in his sleep for a very long time. Luka Modric, the best player on the pitch by a mile, escaped wonderfully from the attentions of two defenders to slip a ball straight to Olic that took the goalkeeper out of the equation, and the striker somehow contrived to hit the bar when needing only to tap it over the line. Chances such as this one should have been snapped up by anybody, and those citing the loss of Arsenal’s Eduardo from Croatia’s line-up as a reason for their failure to break Turkey down are off the mark; Croatia hadn’t missed him up to this point, and they did enough in this game to win without him again.

The second half was even worse than the first, and Croatia simply ran out of ideas. In extra-time they ran out of energy too, and sensing they had broken their opponents, Turkey became more ambitious, and began to look the more likely winners for the first time in the match. That was until their most vulnerable factor, veteran goalkeeper Rüstü Reçber, rendered all their hard work meaningless, or so it seemed, by wandering off after a ball drifting tamely away from his goal, only to beaten to it comfortably by Modric who centred the ball for sub Ivan Klasnic to head home.

Rüstü, quite frankly, had a dreadful night. Yet somehow, in Jan Tomasziewsi fashion, he managed to keep almost everything at bay despite quite obviously being ‘a clown’. That was until his faux-pas appeared to have cost Turkey the game, but the keeper was given a quite undeserved opportunity for redemption; firstly sending the free-kick into the box from which the Turks’ equalised, then saving the final penalty which sealed their semi-final place. That such an awful performer on the night should end as the hero must have been tough to swallow for anyone inclined towards Croatia, but for us neutrals the good news is that Rüstü may well be back again in the semis to provide yet more comedy, that is unless first choice keeper Volkan Demirel wins an appeal to have his suspension reduced from two matches to one. The biggest question posed by Rüstü’s display, is just how bad must third choice keeper Tolga Zengin be?

Only a complete fool would write the Turks’ chances off altogether, but with more suspensions collected in this game, plus another key injury to add to their list, to striker Nihat Kahveci, you have to fear for the first semi-final as a contest. If the Germans can wipe the floor with Portugal, they ought to do the same with a decimated Turkish side you would think, but then again the Turks will be more organised at the back than the Portuguese, and they will do everything they can to frustrate the Germans. If the Turks get through the first hour at 0-0 again, anything becomes possible, though if they find themselves within one goal as the game enters its final seconds, something tells me the Germans might just be a little more prepared to deal with a final desperate throw of the dice.

Croatia are a massive loss to Euro 2008, and have played a huge part in making it the great tournament it has been. I don’t think anyone watching them over the last year or so, and that will include plenty of English fans, could argue that England are close to Croatia as a team right now, or that anyone else should start as favourites for World Cup qualifying group 6. It was sad to hear Slaven Bilic say that he had thought about quitting, so devastated was he by this loss. Although his and the players’ inexperience proved costly for Croatia in this match, they will surely never find another coach who commands such respect from the team. They must stay together, and learn together.

Interestingly, Turkey’s win made it two out of two for the group runners-up, despite the ‘advantage’ gained by the group winners by resting all their players for the third match. Surely the idea couldn’t be proved to be entirely false logic? Could it?

Who’s Got The Ballacks?

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One always hopes that the knockout stages will move a tournament up a notch in the excitement stakes, but often it doesn’t work like that. The nerves tend to get worse as the stakes get higher, and that’s why we generally end up with so many penalty shoot-outs. Given that the group stages have produced such fantastic action here, it seemed less likely than usual that the latter rounds would upstage them. This, however, is Euro 2008, the finest football tournament in living memory, home of the brave and ambitious, and it seems that we’ve only just started.

Germany and Portugal were the first to do battle in the quarter-finals, and they produced a classic, once again packed with over-committed attacking football, disorganised defences, and goals, goals, goals. The Germans, embarrassed by Croatia, and nervous against Austria, returned to form with a bang, surging at the Portuguese, and exposing major flaws in their defence, which had gone relatively untested in the group.

Before long they were two up, the returning villain Schweinsteiger, sent off for idiocy against Croatia, turned hero, flying in at the near post to complete a sensational German move for the first after Ballack had released our old friend Podolski on the left. Shortly afterwards he added an assist to his tally, resisting the temptation to shoot from a thirty-five yard free-kick in favour of floating a much more dangerous ball into the mix, where Klose found the freedom of Basel thanks to non-existent Portuguese marking, and glanced in the second.

The Germans succeeded with tactics that have become the theme of the tournament, using the full width of the pitch, feeding the wingers, and getting behind the opposition defence before putting crosses in, and getting men in to the box to challenge for them. Then, once the lead was established, they used regular counter-attacks to ensure that their opponents could never feel comfortable in piling everyone forward when going in search of a comeback. They passed the ball in a fashion which was direct, but stopped short of being aerial and aimless. I would like to reiterate, these are nothing more than traditional English, or perhaps British, tactics; the tactics we’ve been told for years that we had to get rid of if we ever wanted to succeed in Europe; the tactics we’re told are from the stone age. The tactics used by Liverpool, Nottingham Forest and Aston Villa that brought six successive European Cups to England between 1977 and 1982.

The Portuguese spent the greater part of the first half doing their usual huffing and puffing and getting absolutely nowhere, but with style. Deco had his finest match of the tournament, but his efforts were so sadly wasted in a side that so desperately, desperately needs a striker. In how many more tournaments are we going to have to point this out? Please Portugal, please, please, please find a striker! There must be someone somewhere with a Portuguese granny that can improve on Nuno Gomes or Pauleta. Failing that, at least play a second idiot up front instead of one on his own.

Nuno Gomes did actually score to bring Portugal back into it before half-time, and significantly this happened when Ronaldo made a direct run through the centre, making of himself a second striker. You have to wonder why on earth Portugal didn’t just make it a permanent move, after all it’s not as though Ronaldo can’t finish, and he would have added physical presence and height, aspects of his game that are mostly wasted when he’s stuck out on the wing. You would think in this tournament of wingers that Ronaldo would be in his element, and yet he has had a quiet tournament, adding further credence to the view that he doesn’t produce when the pressure is on. He certainly grew more and more ineffectual as the game wore on and Portugal became more in need of him.

You certainly could not say the same about Michael Ballack, who was an absolute giant in the middle of the park, organising, ball-winning, passing, driving forward, and in the second half scoring the goal that proved to be the winner, rising to meet another Schweinsteiger free-kick, and again exposing a soft-centre in the Portuguese defence which was this time exacerbated by a hopeless wander and flap by goalkeeper Ricardo.

Replays showed a push by Ballack on Paulo Ferreira as he leapt to head the ball home, which Scolari saw on the big screen and showed his displeasure about, but really, this kind of thing is surely fair game in the box. Just because a replay happened to catch this one, it doesn’t change the fact that there are dozens more in every single game that go unnoticed. If free-kicks and penalties were given for this kind of thing, there would really be no point in taking any set-pieces at all.

Moreover, the ‘foul’ by Ballack was nothing compared to the assault by Pepe on Klose that led to the award of the free-kick from which Germany profited. Pepe launched himself into the striker with force, leading with his shoulder and making thumping contact with Klose’s face. The German was lucky to escape uninjured, and Pepe should have been punished with a straight red card. The fact that the defender stayed on the field meant that there was more than a hint of justice about the resulting goal.

Portugal ‘responded’ by throwing on Nani and Helder Postiga, which must have relaxed the Germans no end, and yet incredibly it was these two that combined to make them sweat for the last five minutes, the latter heading in the former’s cross as the Germans dozed off at the back. That was as good as it got for Portugal though, and the final whistle brought down the curtain on Scolari’s reign. One can only wonder what a legacy he may have left if he could have uncovered that elusive striker; Euro 2004? Almost certainly. 2006 World Cup? Maybe. As it is, his team will be remembered as nearly men, something that definitely won’t be acceptable in his next job.

The Germans had been doubted by many after a couple of mediocre group games, but you can be sure there will be few doubters left now. Certainly not amongst the bookies, who have now reinstalled them as tournament favourites. Down to serious business, several German players stood up and showed their class: Lukas Podolski, who pulled defenders all over the place with his movement, provided a constant threat, and was inches away from one of the all-time great goals as a 35-yard exorcet flew past the post; Philipp Lahm, who coped comfortably with, in effect, two right wingers in Simao and the non-defending full-back Bosingwa, and still found time to join the attack; and Schweinsteiger, who returned from the disgrace of his red card against Croatia to deliver a match-winning contribution of a goal and two assists.

Standing head and shoulders above everyone though was Ballack, a true leader with the presence to dominate the biggest of matches, and as the stakes get higher, the stronger he becomes. This is a man who led Germany to a World Cup final almost single handed when still only 25, and may have gone on to lift the trophy but for being suspended for the final. He was denied again two years ago on home soil in the semi-finals, and has been on the losing side in two Champions League finals. If he were to be the man to lift the trophy at Euro 2008, there could surely be no more deserving winner.

One enormous relief felt by all at Portugal’s demise is surely that we will no longer have to listen to the world’s worst football commentator, Clive Tyldesley, turn ITV into MUTV. Ronaldo’s lame display continually made a fool of Tyldesley, who gave him the big build up every time he received the ball around the box with a hearty “…and here’s CristiANO RONALDO…”, only for the next line to fall flat on its arse as Ronaldo’s contribution limped into obscurity. A suggestion for you ITV – Tyldesley won’t be interested in the rest of this now that Ronaldo’s out, I mean surely he can’t base an entire commentary around Edwin Van Der Sar? Do yourselves, and especially us, a favour by packing this horrendously biased idiot off early to prepare his Champions League preview, and please give the remainder of your fixtures to Jon Champion.

In fact, I will make you a unique offer – I promise to watch at least one of the dual broadcasted semi-finals on ITV if Champion is in the chair. I don’t promise to watch your analysis, but the second the BBC pass to John Motson, I’ll be over.

I await your reply with anticipation.

The ‘Kids’ Are Alright

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The way the TV boys have been referring to Russia and Sweden throughout the tournament, you would think they are, respectively, a bunch of raw 18-year-olds recently plucked from a schoolboy international, and a plodding group of 35-plus footballing geriatrics on their last legs. In truth this is a complete exaggeration, but watching the two sides last night you would have been forgiven for believing the hype.

The curtain came down on the group stage of Euro 2008 with a frightening display by Guus Hiddink’s Russians that displayed all the qualities one associates with young players; pace, imagination, enthusiasm, and panic infront of goal. Sweden on the other hand looked like a collection of ageing limbs, making a rather ungraceful exit from the international stage.

The facts though, are that the youngest player on either starting XI was Russia’s 22-year-old goalkeeper Igor Akinfeev, and that Russia fielded two outfield players under 25 to Sweden’s one. Sweden’s starting line-up contained six thirty-somethings to Russia’s three, but this is misleading as only one on each side was older than 31. Also, Russia’s two central strikers, Andrei Arshavin and Roman Pavlyuchenko, are of identical ages, 27 and 26 respectively, to two of Sweden’s attackers, Johan Elmander and Zlatan Ibrahimovic. Given these stats, I don’t think Sweden should be allowed to get away with age being cited as an excuse for their pedestrian display.

Perhaps what we were watching was a nostalgic throwback to the communist era, and the Swedes were actually the victims of a sneaky Russian sabotage. They certainly had the appearance of playing in mysteriously leaden boots, and as anyone who has ever watched an American film from the 1980s will know, these pesky Reds will try anything.

The reality is that the Swedes were totally outclassed by a more confident and skilful side, and the Russian victory was yet another one at Euro 2008 for smart attacking adventure over dour defensive pragmatism, making it so far the exact opposite of Euro 2004. How Sweden got away with a deficit of only two is perhaps the only worrying aspect of the game for Guus Hiddink, but he will prefer to concentrate on his side’s stunning exhibition of passing and movement around the box that has so far only been matched in this tournament by Croatia.

Russia were able to field Arshavin, their most feared attacking player, for the first time in the tournament, and the confidence his presence seemed to give the rest of the side was the noticeable difference between this Russian display and those seen against Spain and Greece. In the early stages against the Spanish, Russia definitely gave some strong hints at their attacking abilities, but quickly seemed to lose heart after defensive errors cost them goals. Against the Greeks, they appeared nervous about over-committing in a game that could have seen them exit the tournament early. Last night, they played with the freedom of a team that felt they were fully-equipped to dispose of their opponents.

From the off, Russia tore a supposedly tough Swedish rearguard to shreds, creating clearcut chances for fun, and getting so many men forward that often their biggest problems were getting under each others feet, and having to hold a debate to decide who would shoot. The two goals that were scored were both of sublime brilliance, and had they been scored by the Dutch we would never have heard the end of it. The first was a swift one touch passing move which saw the ball worked first wide then back into the centre, leaving the static defenders resembling yellow training cones. The second was, in my opinion, the goal of the tournament so far; a quite stunning counter from a Swedish defensive free kick aimlessly punted into the Russian half. The kick fell straight to a Red shirt just over the half-way line, and within seconds the ball had been ruthlessly transferred in four movements into the back of the net, finished effortlessly by Arshavin, with experienced defenders looking on in despair.

Now, I’m going to try a little analysis here:

It’s interesting to compare the second Russian goal to the one scored by Wesley Sneijder for Holland against Italy, as that goal was repeated over and over again for days and presented to us as an example of the perfect counter-attacking goal.

Granted the Dutch move began from their own goal line, so covered almost half a pitch more ground than the Russian one, but as the move evolves you can see that none of the Dutch players are marked. The key ball in the move is the one that releases Van Bronckhorst on the left wing, but because Van Bronckhorst’s run from his own penalty area hadn’t been tracked by a single Italian, he was in acres of space, meaning that the ball to find him needed to be nothing better than a hoof into space. From there, Van Bronckhorst overhits his cross, but the unmarked Kuyt has enough time to backpedal and nod the ball down to the unmarked Sneijder, whose first time volley beats Buffon for pace at the near post.

The Russian goal is better becasue it has so much less margin for error. When the hopeless Swedish free kick lands at the feet of the Russian player there is a conventional formation infront of him, he has three attacking players ahead, all marked, and there is a spare defender who has just taken the free kick who can come across to cover if necessary. The attacking players all begin to move in different directions, pulling their markers out of position, and the three passes that are played to get the ball to the goalscorer are all placed on a sixpence at the feet of their target, and have to be. Arshavin has no time to wait with the finish, and yet it’s measured, placed to perfection in the far corner.

I’m honestly not picking on the Dutch here, I’m just fed up of biased TV coverage telling us certain teams/players are geniuses whilst merely paying lip-service to others when I can’t see any difference between what they’ve done.

The Russian wonder goal came five minutes into the second half, and they somehow contrived to miss everything else that came their way after that, hitting the woodwork, shooting when they should have passed, passing when they should have shot, and finishing lazily. At no stage did Russia sit back and settle for what they had, even at 2-0; every opportunity to attack that came their way was snapped up. Let that be a lesson to their beaten opponents and a few others.

The Swedes had clearly been sent out with a first priority of protecting the draw that would have seen them qualify, and once that had gone out of the window fairly early, there appeared to be no plan B. They looked distinctly ordinary all over the park, and none more so than Ibrahimovic, who recently became the highest-paid footballer in the world after signing a new contract with Internazionale worth over £9 million pounds a year.

Let me repeat that, Zlatan Ibrahimovic is paid over £9 million pounds a year, more than any other footballer in the world. Does anyone else think this guy is a carthorse? All he seems to do for Inter is convert penalties, and he hadn’t scored for Sweden in over two years before this tournament. Last night he looked slow, predictable and a very comfortable nights work for average defenders, which is all he was up against. Henrik Larsson, ten years his senior, offered far more threat if only because he displayed a little guile and invention, something which seems to me to be beyond the capabilities of Ibrahimovic.

For Russia, they move on to the knockout stages of a tournament for the first time since the USSR were beaten in the final of Euro 88 by Holland, and Marco Van Basten’s famous goal. Their quarter final opponents, of course, are Holland and Marco Van Basten. Holland’s best performance since then was reaching the world cup semi-final in ’98 and losing on penalties to Brazil, under the management of Guus Hiddink. Another ten years on, and all these factors have strangely come around again to give us the mouthwatering prospect of Holland v Hiddink.

Sadly for Euro 2008, we shall now see no more of Greece and their unique brand of beautifully choreographed slapstick. They leave Euro 2008 as the only side not to win a single point, but not as the only side without a goal, after they left us quite fittingly with a reminder of how it was all done four years ago. A set piece, swung dangerously into the penalty area, and Charisteas rises to plant a header beyond the helpless keeper. Ah, the memories!

However it didn’t last, as even Spain’s reserves seemed miffed with the idea of dropping points to the Greeks, and came back in the second half with two goals to turn it around, the first an absolute corker from the appropriately named Ruben De La Red. Greece at least bowed out without too much hilarity this time, for once their veteran goalkeeper and Euro 2008’s clown-in-chief Antonis Nikopolidis appeared blameless.

Greece’s spectacular transition from heroes to zeroes reflect the changing attitudes shown towards the championships this time compared to four years ago. In amongst a group of teams infected with negativity as in 2004, the field was levelled out for Greece and they filled their boots. This time around, where the etiquette has been for ambition, adventure, and risk-taking, they have been left out in the cold. Maybe that’s good news for football, but the Greeks’ incredible triumph will live long in the memoy as a thrilling event, because it was so unexpected. Also, they may have done international tournaments a great service for the future in giving all negative minded coaches of talent-rich teams a wake-up call.

Spain, as all the other three group winners had, sent out an entirely reserve side. Their rather tame efforts had more in common with Portugal’s final game than with Croatia and Holland’s momentum maintenance. It will almost certainly have no significance whatsoever, though it will be an interesting match-up with Italy, who will come into the quarter-final with the match mentality firmly switched on.

So, it’s goodbye to the group stages, and hello penalty-shoot outs. Suddenly, I fancy the Germans again.

What Might Have Been

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Firstly, I would like to say sorry to the Dutch. Did you get that everyone? I admit it, I owe Holland an apology. Not for all I have said about their past conduct resembling that of snivelling, diving, whining, ill-natured schoolboys; I shall stand by that until they get through the whole tournament without displaying any of these ‘qualities’, though I admit we have thankfully seen none of them so far.

However, I did suggest in my previous post that Holland may be tempted not to play entirely competitively against Romania in order to assist the elimination of potentially dangerous semi-final opponents Italy and France. Holland in fact displayed an exemplary attitude in beating the Romanians with as much ease as they had earlier despatched the Italians and French, and left the World Cup finalists to fight out second place in Group C. What’s more, they enhanced their own growing reputation still further by winning comfortably with the reserves out, and now look worthy tournament favourites.

There. That actually hurt a lot less than I expected. Now let’s get on with it.

  

Italy cantered through to the quarter-finals of Euro 2008 at the expense of the diabolical French; the Italians worst fears of a Dutch rollover against Romania were dispelled in the second half as news came in of Oranje success. Amusing though the French demise was, it all went off without any real drama, and when you consider what might have happened with different results, we were actually robbed of some high-class entertainment.

These were just some of the possible permutations:

• Any win by Romania sent them through, any failure to win by Romania would send the winner of France v Italy through. Two draws would also have seen Romania progress. Nothing but a win was good enough for France. The interesting scenario would have been a Romanian defeat and a draw between the French and Italians, leaving all three sides on two points.
• In this situation, the nature of the draw between France and Italy would have made a difference; if Italy had achieved a score-draw against the French, their head-to-head record would have been better than Romania’s, having scored more goals. A 0-0 however would have left Romania and Italy clear of the French, but inseperable by their own head-to-head record, and therefore we would have moved on to the criterium of goal difference from the group as a whole to separate those two.

Keeping up so far?

• Now, with a 0-0 draw between France and Italy and a Romanian defeat by anything less than three, Romania would have progressed with a better group goal difference than Italy. If Romania had lost by more than 3, it would have been Italy who had the superior record (try and remember that the French are already out of the equation by this point).
• If Romania had lost by exactly three, their group goal difference would have been the same as Italy’s, but if they had done so by any score besides 3-0 (i.e 4-1, 5-2, etc), then Romania would have finished above Italy on group goals scored. If, however, Romania had lost 3-0, they and Italy would have been inseperable using the first 5 criteria in UEFA’s rules: Head-to-head points, head-to-head goal difference, head-to-head goals scored, group goal difference, and group goals scored. If this scenario had materialised, Italy would have progressed on criterium number six – a better UEFA coefficient rating.
• The coefficient is UEFA’s version of cricket’s Duckworth/Lewis system, the rating is found by adding up the total points gained by the sides concerned in all qualifying matches for Euro 2008 and the 2006 World Cup, and dividing that number of points by the number of matches played.

Just to recap, It would have taken only a 0-0 draw between Italy and France, and a 3-0 defeat for Romania in order for Italy to have qualified on this preposterous basis. Now, was that really too much to ask?

Now, the reasons for my choosing to explain all that are: a) it’s far more interesting than what actually happened, and b) to try and give you an idea of the fun we were denied. No, no, I’m not talking about merely watching baffled players and coaches trying to figure it all out whilst still playing the match; what I’m really disappointed about is that we didn’t get to hear John Motson try and explain all of the above, with Mark Lawrenson’s help! Can you imagine what these clowns would have made of it? They would have more chance with the theory of relativity. The TV event of the year, snatched from our grasp.

What did take place was a very comfortable Italian win against an appalling French side that were in total disarray from the kick-off. Admittedly they did not need the additional unlucky blow of a serious injury to Ribery, but France would be very unwise to try and cite this as an excuse. Italy should have been over the hills and far away by half-time, and would have been had Luca Toni not continued with a display of profligacy that suggests he may have Austrian blood. Toni must have been clean through at least five times in the first half, and though the chances had varying degrees of difficulty, we should surely expect better from a man who scored 39 goals for Bayern Munich in the regular season.

The fact that Toni seems unacquainted with a barn door makes the decision of Eric Abidal to bring the striker down when once again through on goal a questionable one; he may have been better off taking his chances on letting the striker try and finish the chance. Nevertheless, Abidal clumsily brought the big man to the ground with the goal at his mercy, and was quite rightly shown the door by the referee. The decision was met with agreement by all except Mark Lawrenson, who doesn’t think that bringing someone down when clean through on goal ten yards out and in the act of shooting constitutes a red card offence under current rules.

Abidal only found himself in the unfamiliar position of centre-back thanks to the late withdrawal of Lilian Thuram, who claimed that ‘his head wasn’t right’. This would barely be acceptable from an 18 year-old debutant, but from an ageing member of the squad selected specifically for the stability his experience brings, this is quite unforgiveable. Unless of course this is all a cover story and Raymond Domenech had decided that Abidal had better aspects on the day, perhaps after seeing Capricorn shafting Aquarius on Jupiter with the help of Taurus while Gemini looked on from Mars in amazement. Or something.

The ten Frenchmen were probably better than the eleven had been, but then again they could hardly have been any worse. After somehow surviving to half-time trailing only to Pirlo’s penalty, they actually showed some (gulp!) fighting spirit in the second half, before a deflected free-kick by De Rossi finished them off. As news came through that there would be no mysteriously convenient result to eliminate them as there had been four years previously, the Italians relaxed and enjoyed themselves for a change.

De Rossi was magnificent, and the man-of-the-match by a mile. His form will be a relief to the Italians, and they will despearetely need him to maintain it in the quarter-final, as the rest of their central midfield, Pirlo and Gattuso, will be sitting out the clash with Spain after picking up second bookings.

As for Raymond Domenech’s future, where else can we look but to the stars:

Aquarius: Everyone wants a piece of you today, you are the centre of attention, and it will seem like the whole world is queueing up to speak to you. Be careful though, as towards the end of the day your backside may be met by a large shiny boot, which will propel you in the direction of a long queue. You should take heart from this, and see it as the springboard for a new career. Remember, never look back, and don’t be tempted to give your current role another try. The stars would like to reiterate: Please, please do not be tempted.

 

The Dutch continue to make a fool of me, and my hopes for an undignified implosion are starting to wane. The non-performace that many expected never looked like happening, and Romania appeared fortunate to get away with only losing 2-0. Mind you when your ‘reserves’ include the likes of Robben, Van Persie and Huntelaar, you probably should be winning with a degree of comfort.

Watching this one, and indeed the entire group, you have to wonder what on earth the Dutch were up to finishing behind Romania in qualifying. I can only assume they were indulging in their usual tantrums, but if that’s true then Marco Van Basten has done something very shrewd at some stage since, because there has been no hint of it so far at these championships. If he can get the Dutch squad through the whole thing without any signs of a temperament issue, it will be a miracle. Furthermore, Holland will probably win the tournament because, as usual, they have far more ability at their disposal than anyone else.

The scariest thing about the Dutch victory was the post-match celebration on the pitch. So much happiness! They all did a lap of honour together; there was laughing, joking, babies being kissed, the lot. It was Croatia-esque. Anyone would think they were friends. In fact you have to wonder if Holland haven’t got a little ahead of themselves with the celebrating; you wouldn’t get this from the Germans after the first round.

Romania exited Euro 2008 with a whimper, and according to our press, regretting Adrian Mutu’s missed penalty against Italy. According to me, they should have far more regrets over their failure to beat the French, and their rather joyous celebrations at having done so now look rather silly. Had they had more attacking inclination in that match, they would probably have won, and Italy would have been in a far more perilous position when the two sides met.

The fact that every group winner was decided after two games is slightly spoiling the fun of this round of matches; as is digital TV, which allows the TV companies to show both games and leave it up to the viewers to choose. It was much more fun when we used to have confused TV directors having to swap from one match to the other every five minutes as developments kept changing the emphasis.

As it is, we are left with another group with just one match that offers any interest, and one completely dead rubber. Mind you the same was true of group A, and that didn’t turn out too badly. Russia will welcome back Andrei Arshavin of Zenit St Petersburg, destroyer of Rangers in the UEFA cup final, who brainlessly got himself booked in the final qualifier and thus suspended for the first two games here. Russia will need him, as the draw belongs to Sweden tonight, and they will probably need all available craftiness to break down through the well-drilled yellow and blue barricades.

That said, Sweden should beware. In a one off encounter where winner-takes-all, the last place I would want to be is on the opposite side to Guus Hiddink.

The Good, The Bad, and Pogatetz

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I suppose it was probably too much to expect another capricious evening of confusion and disarray, and it was certainly too much to expect Austria to keep their hopes alive by shocking their illustrious neighbours. The Austrians, as the saying doesn’t really go, couldn’t score in a house of ill repute. As Alan Hansen put it: “If the Austrians had sat back and played on the break, they wouldn’t have scored. If they’d played all out attack, they wouldn’t have scored. If the Germans had left the field for 10 minutes and had a cup of tea, the Austrians still wouldn’t have scored”.

That, in a nutshell, is the story of not only this match, but of Austria’s entire Euro 2008 adventure. Apart from making a sluggish start in the first half against Croatia, Austria played with passion, creativity, organisation, and will to win. Unfortunately none of these guarantee you goals. It must have been incredibly frustrating for Austria watching the Germans create absolutely nothing for Podolski and Klose, they must have wanted to ask the Germans if they could borrow one of them for five minutes, seeing as they weren’t using them.

Knowing the Austrians luck, if the Germans had agreed to lend them a striker, they would have got Mario Gomez, who unfortunately would fit seamlessly in to the current Austrian set-up. The only clearcut chance created by Germany all night fell to Gomez inside the first three minutes, and he robbed the Greeks of a title they seemed nailed-on for by achieving the miss of the tournament so far, failing to tap-in to an empty net from four yards out with no defender in sight.

The rest of the match set into a pattern, Austria got the ball efficiently to their wingers, who consistently got past their full-backs and put in dangerous crosses. To absolutely no-one. The Germans, who only needed a point, could barely be bothered as it became quite clear a draw was near-enough guaranteed. When your captain is as model a professional as Michael Ballack however, nothing gets left to chance, and he stepped up early in the second half to rocket in the tournament’s first successful free kick.

That was that, and there really was no suggestion that it was going to change, but whilst the outcome was predictable, the evening was not without its interesting diversions. Firstly there was the Austrian players accommodation of their German guests. At face value the game didn’t appear dirty, and yet there were several strange incidents of the TV director suddenly cutting to a shot, usually some yards away from the ball, of a mysteriously flattened German. Time and again the referee was distracted from the play, and would suddenly arrive on the scene wearing a puzzled expression, as he found an injured German player, and no red shirt within 10 yards of him. The whole thing was mystifying, I can’t possibly speculate on what brought these episodes about.

Could it be that the two managers were debating this point when they suddenly decided to launch into a bout of touchline handbags, for which they were both despatched to the stand. Once the referee had intervened, the two managers became united in their disdain for the offical instead, and bonded like two cell-ins about to start a five-stretch together. On reaching the stand, Joachim Low managed to bump into his Chancellor, Angela Merkel, and looked as though he may take a seat beside her. Moments later, Low had found an alternative seat beside Oliver Bierhoff, perhaps having realised that the country’s leader might not have been the ideal companion had the match not gone Germany’s way.

Also adding a touch of the irregular to this game was Austrian defender Emanuel Pogatetz, who gives one the impression that he may not be of this world. He looks like the madman on the bus that you pray doesn’t sit next to you, terrifyingly wide-eyed and unstable. Pogatetz of course plays for Middlesbrough, and when you study his erratic behaviour along with that of Turkey’s Tuncay, you do have to worry about the effect the town’s infamous fumes are having on non-natives of Teesside.

Pogatetz at one stage picked up the ball and attempted to take a bite out of it. Now I don’t know about you, but if I was an attacker that is one opponent I would be giving a wide berth. Personally, I would be perfectly comfortable with any accusations of lying too deep, “Sorry boss, I am doing my best to get further forward but you see the thing is there’s a serial killer at centre-back, and I have a family”. Maybe Pogatetz was so fed up at being part of Austria’s hopeless campaign that he’d asked the manager to sub him and been refused, so now thought summoning the men in white coats represented his best chance of escape.

As I said, predictable but not uneventful. The Germans were presumably more than a little nervous at the potential humiliation of losing this one, which perhaps explains why they weren’t exactly fully committed, but with Portugal now looming the Germans aren’t exactly taking with them an abundance of confidence or momentum from this group.

Croatia on the other hand are flying. Having already secured the group, they made nine changes to the side that beat Germany but, unlike Portugal on Monday, Croatia appeared to have used the tactic to their own advantage. Instead of looking like players sent out to make a token gesture in a meaningless match, the Croat reserves had the look of a side motivated to prove themselves worthy of a place in the side and to play their part in a genuine team effort. Or maybe it’s just that Croatia’s reserves are much more capable than Portugal’s, who knows?

Whatever the reason, Croatia very impressively disposed of Poland with a 1-0 win that should have been many more, and completed a perfect group programme. Their goalscorer Ivan Klasnic, still wearing protection after a kidney transplant just last year, could have had a hat-trick on the night but for more heroics from the goalkeeper of the tournament, and the only Pole to cover himself in anything like glory at Euro 2008, Celtic’s Artur Boruc. In the end the striker had to settle just for scoring the winner. Klasnic’s story of triumph over adversity sums up the mentality of the whole Croatian team, who are showing an extraordinary unity which is threatening to overcome both the perceived gulf in class between them and their more famous rivals, and the loss of their best striker, Eduardo Da Silva.

The Croatian celebrations at the final whistle once again revealed the togetherness of their squad, and the respect they have for their coach, Slaven Bilic, who looks by far and away the strongest leader at this tournament. The entire squad took a lap of honour, just as they had against Germany, and every individual player seemed keen to embrace Bilic, and he to reciprocate. Croatia now have more confidence and momentum than any team besides Holland, but the difference between their soaring team spirit and the ever-fragile Dutch squad is cavernous.

With their next test being a quarter-final against the gritty Turks on friday, Croatia will now be favourites to reach the semi-finals, which is a stage they have never yet breached. If they make it, they are almost certain to be amongst those to whom lifting trophies is the norm, and it is then we will then find out if their squad possesses the one quality we can’t yet be sure about – belief.

It was generally another excellent night for the BBC, with Martin O’Neill and Alan Hansen in sparkling form, particularly during the half-time interval. When asked about the incident involving the German and Austrian managers, O’Neill dismissively replied “Well I don’t blame them for taking no notice of the 4th official, they’re always wrong”.

As the second half approached, Gary Lineker attempted to take back the reins ready for his handover to the commentary team, but was ignored completely by O’Neill and Hansen who preceded to lean over Alan Shearer and conduct their own in-depth discussion on the German second-half tactics. It’s little moments of lost control like this that O’Neill provides, and that makes the BBC coverage so much more entertaining than ITV’s joyless efforts.

The beeb boys did however let themselves down, right at the end of the show as they were looking ahead to tonight’s Group C conclusion. Hansen and O’Neill were almost wetting themselves at the prospect of France v Italy! O’Neill even made the astonishingly misguided observation that ‘The tournament starts tomorrow’. What? Are we ever going to get away from this boot-licking of the football aristocracy? Anyway, could someone please explain to me what they were getting so excited about? Italy v France will be a dead-rubber, and a guaranteed bore-fest of all time, should Romania score an early goal, and they both realise they’re going home.

The truth is, the clue to this evening lies within the following statement: For the final round of Group C to deliver any excitement, it is reliant on the spirit of fair play being invoked to the full – by the Dutch.

I shall say no more.

You Asked For It (Part 2)

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Another day, another team who think disorganisation and panic are vital ingredients in defending a lead. Not that I’m complaining, as the culprits in question this time contributed to one the most astonishing games seen at this or any other championship.

More viewers will inevitably tune in to the final, or semi-finals, but what they don’t understand is that it is the final round of group matches which provide the truly unmissable fayre at a tournament. Mind you, this group had the potential to peter out timidly; one game was a dead rubber with Portugal already through and the Swiss already out, which meant it was left to Czech Republic and Turkey as the only ones in a position to provide drama. They didn’t disappoint.

With Euro 2008 already being touted as one of the greatest football tournaments ever, two more unfashionable sides raised the bar by several more notches. UEFA had already offered the match the possibility of breaking new ground, by declaring that a penalty-shoot out would settle a draw at ninety minutes, with the two sides having identical records after the first two games. In the end it wasn’t necessary, and the tension created in the final 15 minutes surpassed anything that the penalties could have thrown up.

The Czechs dominated the first half to such an extent that it must have been worrying to end it only one goal up. They got their direct game based around the giant Jan Koller working to far greater effect than they had against the Swiss in their opening match, and Turkey couldn’t cope. A traditional British style of play was employed (is it always us who must learn from the Europeans?), and was thoroughly enjoyable to watch, with the ball being played forwards with urgency to two wingers attacking at pace, who regularly got behind the full-backs before delivering crosses for a big target. And those crosses, they kept coming in, causing difficulty almost every time, and Koller inevitably got his head to one to register his 55th international goal.

Turkey, who had virtually surrendered all possession in the first period, had to make a change and they did. Tuncay was moved in from the wing to play in the centre of midfield and ran himself into the ground in order to get the Turks back into the game. It initially worked, as Turkey began to apply pressure, but then they were caught by a Czech break which resulted in a second for Jaroslav Plasil. The Turks on the touchline raged that they had not been allowed to make a substitution with one of their defenders clearly injured, but the ball hadn’t gone out of play in order to allow this to take place.

ITV’s Jon Champion, like the rest of us, thought that this would be the signal for Turkish meltdown. On previous evidence it’s difficult to argue that this did seem the most likely outcome, especially with the disappointment at going two down exacerbated by the injustice they felt about the second Czech goal. The final half an hour might easily have seen Turkey end the game without their full compliment. As it turned out, that’s exactly what happened, but by the time it did Champion, and all of us, owed the Turks an apology.

The Czechs came within inches of burying the match when Jan Polak smacked one against the post, but Turkey survived that, then launched a quite staggering comeback. The inspiration for this was the much-maligned (especially by me) Tuncay, who ran and ran and ran some more, and set a magnificent example to any fragile temperaments there may have been amongst his colleagues. His endeavour embodied a never-say-die attitude that began to rub off amongst his team mates, and was encapsulated when he ran twice across the pitch to receive a replacement linesman’s flag, and deliver it to the official who had managed to break the original.

Still two down with a quarter of an hour left, the Turks were piling everyone forward. It was by this time that the Czechs had made the fatal error of retreating to the edge of their own box, guaranteeing that they would only the final period one way – under intense pressure. Turkey finally broke through thanks to a smart finish by Turan, and the Czechs knew they were hanging on for dear life. They made it to within three minutes of the ninety ending before Petr Cech made surely the biggest howler of his career, though by no means his first of the season, and handed an equaliser to Turkish captain Nihat on a big shiny solid silver plate. Bedlam ensued at the Turkish end of the ground, and on the bench, as they celebrated a well earned shot at a place in the quarters via a penalty shoot-out.

The drama, however, had barely started. The predicted Turkish indiscipline had not materialised, but there was now plenty of it from the Czechs, who lost their way completely. The next Turkish attack resulted in a shambolic Czech defensive line being comfortably breached by that man Nihat, who stunned everyone with a majestic curling finish off the underside of the bar. The bewildered Czechs, who had taken off their wingers and now had no attacking shape whatsoever, attempted to launch a response, and Milan Baros inevitably began to strip off but amongst the mayhem never actually made it onto the pitch.

Four minutes of injury time were signalled almost immediately after the third Turkish goal, but these were barely underway when suddenly curtailed by yet more craziness. A disbelieving crowd saw Turk goalkeeper Volkan Demirel make a valiant attempt to secure himself a chance of saving some penalties after all, by first flying out of his goal to flap at a ball, leaving an empty net which the Czechs failed to find, then following it up by shoving Koller to the ground in full view of the referee who dismissed him immediately. What Demirel had almost certainly forgotten was that the Turks had used all their subs. So, the question was, who would go in goal for the remaining time? There was only one answer of course, the heroic, if completely insane, Tuncay pulled on the gloves, and safely kept a three minute clean sheet.

The broken Czechs slumped, and amid the chaos there was no real chance for them to bid goodbye properly to two heroes, manager Karel Bruckner, and the magnificent Koller, both of whose careers came to an end with the final whistle. They should have had more to show for a fantastic Czech dynasty, and they will always look back knowing that Euro 2004 should have been their moment.

What this incredible match offered was yet another example, and once again I beg TV executives to take note, of what makes football the phenomenon it is. In fact if all games were like this there would surely be no non-believers left. At face value, this match was as far from being box-office as it gets, and therein lies the problem. Czech Republic v Turkey, ask our TV friends? Who’s interested in that? Where are the superstars? I can’t see anyone from a cola commercial on this pitch, which one out there earns 80 grand-a-week and dates a model? How the hell do we sell this? Surely the people would rather watch Portugal?

The truth is you don’t need any of the above. When left alone, football looks after itself. Without any help at all this match descended into glorious anarchy. Don’t these people realise the lifeblood of football is it’s unpredictability, and that’s the very thing being eroded by the Premier League and Champions league as every season goes by. Perfection isn’t exciting, we want disorder, pandemonium and instability. This match had them all in spades, which is why it will live long in the memory of anyone lucky enough to have seen it.

The Swiss bowed out of their home tournament against Portugal reserves, and happily went out with a victory for their departing coach Kobi Kuhn. He will surely look back on Hakan Yakin’s scoring record of 3 in 2, and wonder why on earth the last part of that stat is only 2. The man who provided the Swiss’ only threat of the tournament was not given the opportunity to do so in the opening game, and they’ll always wonder if it could have been different. Only saw highlights of this one thanks to the simultaneous kick-offs, but from what I could tell Portugal appeared to be offended that they’d actually been asked to play the match.

Their early demise was a great shame for the home fans, who are a massive part of any tournament. For national bonkersness we must now look to Austria, and if they beat the Germans believe me, it will be on a grand scale. If it comes about in as dramatic a fashion as last night’s game, I think I shall need a lie down. As this incredible tournament has gone on, each match has had more and more to live up to, but has somehow risen to the challenge. We just have to hope now that Czech Republic v Turkey doesn’t end up as the match of the tournament.

You Asked For It (Part 1)

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Writing about matches after subsequent matches have taken place sometimes offers a different perspective, for instance it opens up the opportunity to see teams make the same stupid errors, and you just want to ask them “Weren’t you watching yesterday?, Didn’t they do exactly the same thing?, And didn’t they look stupid?, And don’t you now look even more stupid?”.

More of that in the next post however, first to take care of Saturday. Group D is not exactly getting into the spirit of things at Euro 2008, it’s a bit too well organised and not especially adventurous. It’s not dull or completely bereft of interest by any means, but it needs a bit of chaos to get it going.

Spain and Sweden played out a largely uneventful encounter, which looked all on for an appropriate draw until a little late genius from David Villa settled it in Spain’s favour. The match did reveal the vulnerability of the Spaniards, who looked pretty clueless when it came to making chances, and appear to be relying on their two superstars up front to both make and take their own opportunities. They got away with it in this match by the skin of their teeth, but you wonder how many more times they will.

Sweden however, were the side guilty of brainlessness in this match, and got their just desserts for settling for a point with a level of negativity that was quite unnecessary. After the two sides had traded scrappy goals in the first half, the Swedes largely dominated, and looked more than capable of causing an upset. As the second half dozed along however, the Swedes drifted back, and back, and back… and then came the substitution of the forwards, which left them with no outlet and therefore made ball retention much more difficult for themselves. Consequently the Spaniards ended up with more possession at the end of the match, and despite not exactly using it to apply unbearable pressure, the fact is that if you’ve got the ball then you’ve got a chance, and if a chance falls to either of Spain’s strikers, there’s only one place it’s finishing up.

Just why do teams do this? I’ve seen this kind of petrified mass retreat so often before, and it just never works. If Sweden wanted to protect a point, the logical thing to do is surely attempt to keep the ball as far away from your goal and the opposition players as possible. You certainly don’t achieve it by altering the shape of your team into something unrecognisable to the players, forcing them to play entirely in one half (the wrong half) of the pitch, and sending the opposition a postcard to let them know you no longer have any intention, or possibility, of scoring another goal in this game.

Spain can consider themselves lucky, because against a more courageous side they would have been beaten. We should not be surprised of course, except perhaps for the fact that Spain’s inevtiable collapse has started a little earlier than usual. Generally they complete a full group programme impressively before imploding. Alright, they haven’t exactly fallen apart yet but the cracks have definitely started to appear in the form of a fragile looking rearguard, and a void of creativity in midfield. Why the Spanish coach Luis Aragones, a racist old fool, chooses to start with the ineffective Xavi and not Cesc Fabregas is beyond me and presumably anyone who’s watched a Premier League match in the last two years.

It’s just irresistable for a commentator to resist a cliche. I might have said it was like a moth to a flame, but that would just make me look silly, so I won’t. I am overall very happy with the return of Jon Champion to the ITV microphone, he has far more acute sense of perspective than his idiot colleagues Tyldesley and Drury, far less likely to use inappropriate hyperbole, or, as in the case of Tyldesley, grovel at the feet of any ‘big 4’ Premier League player. Alas he still appears to be third choice behind them for some reason, but at least they are making use of him. Even Champion can’t resist the cliche though, and it was a slight disappointment that he couldn’t get through Greece v Russia without reducing himself to the cringeworthy “It’s a Greek Tragedy”, and “No need for Russia to beware Greeks bearing gifts”.

I must admit at this point that I did myself make some allusion to the whole Greek tragedy thing after their first game, but I like to think that I at least made some attempt to steer it clear of the obvious and repetitive. I must admt also that my chosen avatars to represent the various nations on this blog may have a hint of cliche about them. The difference is that I am under no obligation to maintain any standards, I shall be as crass and predictable as I like if I think it’s funny. Champion really needs to try harder.

As you might have already guessed from those choice cuts of questionable commentator’s language, Greece continued on their merry quest to make the worst defence of a trophy ever seen. Greece appear to be the poorest side in Euro 2008 by such a distance you have to wonder if they shouldn’t have been made to play in every group in the interest of fairness; it seems wrong that only three teams in the competition get the opportunity for a gift three points.

Not that I’m not pleased that Greece are taking part, that’s why I advocate them having more matches as opposed to none at all. They are after all the best comedy value in the tournament, and they continued in saturday’s match where they had left off against Sweden. Their attitude to the match wasn’t quite as comically negative as it had been against the Swedes, this time it was just ordinary dullness, which was disappointing. Their goalkeeper Nikopolidis more than made up for it however, with a second hilarious howler of the tournament, taking an inexplicable stroll towards the left hand edge of his box in the direction of an overhit cross, blissfully ignorant to the fact that a Russian was several yards better off in the race. The hapless custodian looked on as the ball was lobbed gently back over his head into the centre, where Zyryanov was waiting to tap in to the vacated net.

Greece ensured that a sense of balance was applied to the occasion by proving themselves equally capable of slapstick at the other end as well, as Charisteas put forward a leading contender for miss of the tournament, failing to convert a header when unmarked from 3 yards. The striker showed his prowess with the boots was on a par with his heading too, when turning down the opportunity to fire an easy chance past the Russian keeper, instead choosing to give the watching defenders a textbook demonstration of the safe back-pass.

The fact that Russia actually seemed a little tentative about making an attempt to increase their lead probably tells you the extent of their ambition in this tournament. They now face a winner-takes-all clash against the Swedes, but having scored only one goal against the Greeks and been leaky against Spain, have handed the draw to Sweden.

Greece of course are out, and their presence will be greatly missed in Euro 2008, if not for reasons they would appreciate. They will now play a dead-rubber against Spain; their swansong as European Champions. If what we’ve seen from them so far is just the first act then I, for one, cannot wait for the finale.